How Does A Naked Lizzy Jagger On A Fish Protest Anything?

Okay advertising, it’s time to pull yourself together, because you’ve allowed things to get a little out of control. Let me explain. There’s a photography project out there called ‘Fishlove’ that is designed to draw attention to all the unsustainable fishing that goes down in the world’s oceans. In their own words:

“‘Fishlove’ is an ongoing photographic project that invites well-known personalities across the globe to make a bold stand to stop over-fishing. Scientists predict that all marine life will effectively disappear from our oceans by the middle of this century if nothing is done about over-fishing.”

Okay great! Unsustainable fishing is bad! I’m on board with that! Let’s all fish sustainably from now on and come up with an ad campaign that really brings that point home!
…or we could just take pictures of naked ladies straddling fish, and use that. And not just any ladies! C-list celebrity ladies, like Lizzy Jagger, the daughter of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall!
Wait. No. Don’t do that. Don’t put naked ladies in your campaign just because people like to look at and talk about and marvel at naked ladies doing things. This doesn’t actually work for your cause. Sure, it works for PETA when they use nudity for their campaigns, but they also have a tag-line that makes sense: “I’d rather go naked than wear fur.” That’s actually clever. It’s a smart way that PETA has found to increase visibility and still stick to their message of ‘fur is bad and wrong, don’t wear fur.’
But in this context, naked ladies doesn’t make any sense. And here’s why. First of all, the fish that they’re posing with ARE DEAD. Sure, they were fished in a sustainable way, but nobody looking at the campaign without reading the statement is gonna understand that. Secondly, are fish sexy? I don’t think so. They’re certainly not high on my list of ‘sexiest animals’. (I’ll show it to you sometime, it’s got some real gems.) And thirdly, why is Lizzy Jagger straddling that tuna? Do we need to stop unsustainable fishing so that there can be more healthy tuna in the world for human ladies to have sex with? This would be like if PETA had naked celebrities pose with dead minks draped artfully over their naughty-bits. That doesn’t make sense, right? So why are we pretending like this sexy fish campaign does?
All that said, they’re right and I’m wrong, because I just dedicated forty-five minutes of my day reading about this cause and re-posting it, so goddamnit giant tunas, you win — let me get naked and we’ll make some sustainable babies.